welcome to the digital age

This weekend has been a good one for me.  I discovered the joys of digital art.

For Christmas last year, my husband Tom surprised me with a new computer.  Granted, he was sick of me stealing his laptop every night but still, very generous.  It's one of those cool ones with the touch screen tab thingy. 
As you can tell from my description, I'm very knowledgable about computers.

Anywho, it came with a basic paint program that basically sucks.  So I thought about shelling out the cash for Corel or one of the other major programs. I looked at them all. I used the free demos.
By the word "use" I mean, I tried them for one day and then got so confused and annoyed I never tried again.
I contemplated going back to school for digital art but quickly realized that was a dumb idea (for me. Anyone who goes back to school is a hero in my eyes).

So on Friday night I was browsing the internets....can't even remember what I was doing... and I stumbled upon a painting program.  I did a little research and found that it's the perfect program for "newbies" like myself. I played around on the demo and quickly bought the full version. It was freakin' cheap too!!

And now I'm in love.  I can't stop playing. How cool is it to "paint" without the hassle and mess of real paint? Yes, the traditionalist in me just cringed at that sentence.  Of course, nothing will ever replace the sensation of raw materials like paint, ink, and pencil.  But this program has actually released me from my dumb insecurites.  I'm not wasting good paper and canvas (which was a weird hangup I had). If I don't like something, I can just erase it.  If I love something, I can get it printed. How cool is that?!

Yes, I know I'm about 20 years behind.  But  guess I've been stubborn in thinking only "true art" is the use of traditional materials.  So I'm sorry to all you commercial and digital artists out there who I may have looked down upon.  Which is really sad considering you're out there doing what you love and I was trapped by my own insecurities.

This weekend I found the Fun in art again.

duh.

blah

I'm so very uninspired right now.
I have a bunch of shows coming up in September and October. In fact, one every weekend of those months. so yes, I should be busting my butt to get ready.  but am I? no I am not.

I'm not sure what's going on. Is it the unbearable heat of summer that's leaving me tired all the time? Is it that my day job is sucking the life out of me? Is it the snide passive aggressive comments from the one person who should be my biggest fan?

perhaps all of the above.

I hope I get my groove back soon.  Maybe I should go to Jamaica like Stella did.

Jewelry jewelry and more jewelry!

I did so much creating last weekend before the show. Now I have to take the time to list them all on Etsy.  woah this will take a while!

Here's a few examples:

Still recovering

whew....I can't believe I survived that!!

First I go through major crying freak out over resin.
Then I have a marathon jewelry making day on Saturday.
Then Sunday...the big day. Ok it really wasn't THAT big of a deal. It was to me. It was my first ART show. Not craft, not yoga or business show. But a REAL honest to goodness ART show. So yea, it was a big deal for me.
So it starts with me and my sister/helper running late. I briefly thought to myself "this isn't starting well".
We start setting up, things are going well, the canopy is up. Our neighbors are so sweet and nice. Marilyn lives in central Iowa and makes beautiful baskets. 
We look to the west....its dark...really really dark.
The wind picks up, the lightening flashes and thunder booms. Down comes the rain.
OK, no big deal. The events director comes around and says the "shower" should last about an hour.  We continue to set up. The rain lets up and a few people start to straggle in.
So far, it's been 1 hour into the show.
I look to the west....it's dark...really really dark.
This time the rain pours down, the wind is threatening to blow the canopy. The canopy is actually leaking. I have to throw my stuff on the table and cover it with the table cloth.
Jodi and I have to hold on to the tent poles because I was an idiot and forgot weights. We're soaked.
Hilarious start to the day.
The rain finally stops and we start re-setting up. People start coming through again.
It's pretty uneventful and fun for a few hours. People are interested in my jewelry and I get quite a few sales.
Then the heat and humidity set in. It seriously got 7 degrees hotter in 5 minutes. It slowly became oppressively hot. Soon there were only a few brave souls around and sales slowed to none.

All in all, it was an ok show.  I can't really complain about the sales. I know that if the weather was better, the sales would have been better.
I loved meeting and talking to everyone. Everyone was so nice. The volunteers working there were amazing. Someone came around about every 5 minutes to make sure we had cold water!

Sunday I learned that people do like my work. That maybe I should concentrate on the handpainted stuff cuz people really loved that stuff. and most importantly, don't sign up for shows in Iowa in the summer unless its in an air conditioned building!!

I would like some cheese with my whine

Thank you very very much Chris, Pam and Scott for soothing my freak out last night.

I cried for a while as I'm known to do. Watched too much TV and then dreamt about resin all night long.
I woke up realizing (with Pam, Chris and Scott's help) that I'm ok. 
I re-resined the poo pieces today.  I don't want to jinx myself but .....THEY ARE FIXED and drying perfectly!!! 
So I freaked out for nothing (another thing I'm known for).

Thank you again!!
Thank you Chris for always being the voice of reason and for being one of my biggest supporters.
Thank you Scott for also being a fan and for making your wife wear my jewelry :) 
And thank you Pam for talking to me as one artist to another and helping me realize we all go through this crap.  And also the very awesome compliment ...warm fuzzy was definately welcomed.

I'll let you all know how the show goes.  Feeling optimistic again :)

Time for the cheddar....

Frustrated

My beautiful brussels sprouts...you never fail me.  But tonight I had roasted cauliflower instead. It was the bomb diggity.

ok...
on to venting....

I've been trying to get ready for a HUGE (huge for me) art show this weekend. I've been pretty proud of myself for not leaving things to the last minute.  Of course I've been agonizing about if I have enough or if it's good enough and second guessing myself and overthinking things. It's what I do.  But in the meantime, I've been plugging away.  In fact, I was so excited to sell a "new" design.  I just knew it was going to get a lot of looks this weekend and especially on Etsy. 
So Monday night I BUSTED ass getting things ready to resin. This is on top of busting ass to prepare the wood which is annoying and time consuming.  Adding the designs is the fun part but after about 50 pieces, even I was getting sick of it.

So today I rush home, prepare the room for the resining.  Got the dehumidifier going, cleaned a perfect space, got my tools and supplies together.  Of course I agonize over the resin because measurements have to be precise. So I worried about that. Then about halfway through, I'm sweating my tush off and the resin is getting thicker and thicker.  Duh!! I'm trying to resin too many pieces at one time.  So I just do the ones that must be done and figure I'll make a new batch tomorrow.  Tomorrow is the absolute deadline to resin.
I finish and realize I have nothing big enough to cover the pieces. They must be covered or every stupid hair and dust bunny magically appears and lands on the wet resin.  Already a few pieces have a little dust on them.  So I improvise with a huge tupperware bin lid.
I walk away feeling really apprehensive about the batch.  But figure, a couple dust particles is not life or death so chillax.
About an hour ago, I walk in to check on them and to make sure my make shift cover didn't fall on them.  I pick one up. The resin isn't level.
I pick up another one...not level.
I pick up a third....not level.
The freakin' butcher paper is so crinkled that it created little hills and valleys and the freaking resin is drying crooked!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 
of course it was every single one of the new pieces I was so excited about.

I could...could possibly...apply another coat of resin tomorrow.  The resin from tonight should be dry enough to do that. But I think I'm supposed to wait till it's fully cured.  Or I could go and bust my ass trying to prepare more wood and do everything over again in one night.

Or I could take this as another sign that prehaps I should just give up.  I hardly sell online anyway.  I'm so invested in this and I really want to be successful but it seems that no matter what I do or try or whatever, some challenge always comes up.  And I'm already exhausted from working at my day job, and being a wife and mother. 

I don't know. This is a long post eh? Just so frustrated.  I've been thinking a lot lately about quiting...and I guess this is making me think more