20 years later...still have issues...

This weekend was my 20th high school reunion. I hated high school.  and I couldn't tell you why.  I wasn't ridiculed (to my face at least), people weren't excessively mean to me. Yea, I was the "art freak" who hung out with the other weirdos.  I had a great group of friends. So looking back I wonder why I don't think of that time more fondly. Sure I couldn't beg a guy to look at me....but I made up for that in college (Hello!)

I think the reason I hated high school is for the same issue I deal with every day. I never feel like I'm good enough. I wasn't good enough to be "popular" or even dateable.  I always wanted to be something I wasn't. 

It's the same issue I deal with everyday. I don't feel good enough in my current life and especially in my art and business.
I constantly question myself and how I'll be perceived, how my art will be judged.  How ridiculously stupid.  I was good enough then and I'm good enough now.  My art is my own. I should want to do my art for myself and no one else.

At the risk of sounding like Stuart Smalley, I wish I realized that I'm pretty cool....I'm pretty kick ass. I wish I could walk into a room, any room, and remember that.